Mom guilt can make so many of us feel overwhelmed, and with our lives shared so publicly on social media it’s easy to compare yourself to other moms and feel like you aren’t stacking up. But I am here to tell you that you have got this! You ARE a good mom, right now, in this moment. I’ve found three simple steps to follow that can really help you feel balanced as a mom.
1) Find your time to fuel up. This is a form of self-care but is different than the typical pampering style of self-care like getting a pedicure or a manicure. Instead, it is a daily practice you can stick to and it is something that rejuvenates your spirit and centers your mind. This daily “fuel up” practice is a way to recharge our mental and emotional energy. If we don’t fuel up on a regular basis we will eventually feel drained and burned out. This daily practice doesn’t have to take a lot of time but the consistency of fueling up on a regular basis will help keep us rejuvenated. For example, my daily fuel up includes: getting enough sleep, exercise, giving myself time to pray, reading my scriptures, and meditating all before my kids wake up. I don’t have babies at home anymore so this works for me. When I had babies I had to adjust accordingly. I do strongly encourage you to try and make this time happen in the morning but you need to do what works best for you.
Connect With Your Kids
2) We put a lot of pressure on ourselves as moms to do a lot of things that our kids don’t really care about. Our kids probably couldn’t care less about having a Pinterest-worthy meal after all. They just want to spend time with us. We need to try and show our love through action every day. What I have found helps me the most is to set aside some time to connect with my kids each day. I have five kids and I try to do one thing each day for each of my kids that means something to them individually. My daughter would love to play cars with me, which is not my favorite thing, but we can find something that we both connect on. Sometimes I am good at it and some days I am not. Try carving out even 15 minutes a day to be fully present with each one of your children and you will feel your connection deepen even more.
Control Your Thoughts
3) Your thoughts are something you can control that you can be aware of and that you can change. We have a lot of thoughts go through our head each day and some of those thoughts are garbage. We need to only spend time and energy on the thoughts that will benefit us. Spending time thinking negatively about ourselves and that we are “bad moms” does not help us be a better mom. Instead, it can actually bring us down more and stop us from feeling fulfilled. Thinking these negative thoughts can actually keep us from action and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Controlling our thoughts about ourselves and others will help us feel better all around. One thing I try to do when a negative thought comes into my mind about others is I try to think good positive happy thoughts about them and non-comparative or competitive thoughts.
These three things will help you feel like a good mom because (listen closely my friend) you ARE a good mom! Motherhood is rewarding and exhausting all at once and you are doing great.
What have you found helps you be a good mom?